Call a spade a spade-this is rambling.

I'm running on empty. My former employer, the lovely state of Texas has finally received the whopping 24.13 or so they overpaid me last year, so I will FINALLY, almost 12 months after filling out the paperwork to receive my 403b refund, be receiving it shortly. I've sent 2 money orders that got "lost"....took having someone receive it thru paypal and just hand the money to them for it to finally be dealt with.

Why they couldn't take a credit card payment.....just take the damn 24 bucks out of my big ass check that they've been holding back on me.....I don't know the answers to these questions....I just know that by this time next week, my freshly notarized request for whatever's left of my money after they invested with Madoff should be arriving in Austin.

And about three weeks after that, I can take this window shopping of cars into real life.

And get a car. And get the fuck away from LA. This place was fine for a minute, but having to live here without a car for almost five months now and I am pretty much disgusted with it....I've seen the seedy side of LA...and Brody was right, all I see are fucking dead wings.

I'm going back home and I don't regret any of it. I don't regret leaving because I was going fucking stir crazy there. I took a step away, realized the rest of the country is pretty much the same.......and the only reason I kept coming back to for not going home was the fact that weed remains illegal even for my legitimate medical reasons in Texas.

But you know what? If you get caught in Tarrant county with anything under 2 ounces, they ticket you and take away the sack. At an average cost of 50-80 for an ounce and that being the quantity that I normally purchase, I can be OK with taking that loss. Not that I anticipate getting caught with shit, because I don't do drugs! But ya know.......I could deal if I were ever to be placed in that hypothetical situation.



I don't feel uneasy about my decision to go home. I don't regret leaving or coming back. I'm glad I left and I'm glad I did it when I did. I couldn't imagine trying to settle down and play at adult life any longer without getting this shit out of my system. I've taken a year long vacation from adult hood, how many people can say that?

I've lived in Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver...I've stayed in certain states long enough to know that all I can handle is merely driving through them....and up until the recent months, I've had the ability to just pick up and leave when I felt like it....

Within 48 hours of deciding to go home, I found an apartment. One that I should have all paid for and ready to move into before we ever step foot out of LA.

I don't know up from down at this point, but I know I just gotta keep my shit together til we get home. I hear gas is way cheaper there.